Good afternoon, friends. It's Rohan and I'm back with the latest edition of Coached — your personal mentorship email that takes a few minutes to read, but speeds up your career by years. |
Ever wondered how some people seem to instantly connect with everyone they meet? In today's Mentor's Corner, we're exploring the art of building rapport quickly - and how mastering a few simple techniques can help you create that "click" with anyone, anytime. Later in the email, I've included some tips if you're on a job search. |
Finally, thank you to those who've been sharing my emails with their colleagues, clients and peers. It's fulfilling to see them reach more people! If you enjoy my emails and think they could help others too, please share them. |
And if you like my writing, you'll enjoy the content I put out on LinkedIn: short, quick bites that'll keep your career on track. Follow me on LinkedIn. |
Estimated read time: 5 minutes 25 seconds |
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📈 Mentor's Corner Insights put together by me. One practical lesson a week that will make a measurable impact on your career, delivered right to you — for $0. |
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How to build rapport |
One of my favourite pieces of career advice is from the 2012 commencement speech Neil Gaiman gave to UAL. |
"To get hired, and stay hired," he said, you need to do three things: |
Be easy to get along with Do good work Deliver your work on time
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Then he adds, |
"And you don't even need all three. Two out of three is fine! |
People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it's good and they like you. And you don't have to be as good as everyone else if you're on time and it's always a pleasure to hear from you." |
I always smile when I hear that, although I do admit, having all three is probably best. |
So, assuming our work is good and delivered on time, how can we be easy to get along with, & build rapport? |
Here are some things I've learned of how to do this at work. |
👏 Give genuine, extremely specific compliments. |
Most people you meet are starved for appreciation and crave recognition. So when the opportunity presents itself, give them some! |
Where people go wrong is giving insincere, canned compliments which people can see a mile away. Don't do this as a cheap trick, but embrace it as a principle. |
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| | | | …by the way, if you use LinkedIn, go to my profile and hit the 'Follow' button. I share a mix of practical career strategy and mid-week motivation — stuff that makes it easy to keep your career on track. | Topics coming up this week: how to build a world-class network quickly (without being sleazy), a framework I use everyday to get unstuck, and more. See you there. | alright, let's get back to my essay… |
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ツ Smile |
Have you ever worked with someone who's so negative they suck all the energy out of the room? They spend their whole lives scowling, without a good word to say about anything. |
Don't be that person. |
Instead, give energy to your environment by smiling. You don't need to be Pollyanna, but be more positive than negative. No-one likes a killjoy. Aim to make everyone's day better for having spoken with you. |
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🪞 Mirror, mirror |
Mirroring is a technique often used in negotiations where you subtly reflect the other person's body language and tone. It's a way to build rapport and create a sense of familiarity without saying a word. |
It sounds weird, but mirroring really does work. I was skeptical at first, but then I started noticing how often it happens in natural conversations. |
Think about the last time you were really engaged in a discussion with a friend. Chances are, you started to mirror each other's body language without even realizing it. Leaning in at the same time, matching each other's tone and pace, using similar mannerisms. |
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Mirroring is a powerful tool in the business world too. When you're in a meeting and want to build rapport with someone, subtly reflect their body language: |
If their posture is closed, do the same If they're more laid back and relaxed, mirror that If they gesture a lot, try incorporating similar gestures
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👂 Follow the 2:1 rule |
Listening to someone drone on and on about themselves is exhausting. |
As the saying goes, we have two ears but only one mouth - use them in that ratio, and listen twice as much as you speak. This is surprisingly key to building rapport: sit back and do less of the talking?! |
But it works. |
And remember, when you're listening, actually be curious about the other person. Instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, ask them follow-up questions about what they've said. |
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🔎 Show you're really listening |
This is kinda an expansion of the last point. |
One simple way to do this is by using the person's name. As Dale Carnegie famously said, "A person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." |
So don't just use their name in greetings. Sprinkle it throughout the conversation: |
"I see what you mean, Tom. That must have been challenging." "Sarah, what do you think is the best approach here?"
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Another powerful technique is to use callbacks. If someone shares a specific detail, bring it up later in the conversation (and, especially in future conversations). |
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🤝 Find common ground |
Imagine you're meeting a client for the first time. How can you quickly build rapport? One way is to ask general questions to find common ground: |
"I saw on LinkedIn that you've been at your company for 10 years. How's the journey been?" "I read an article about how AI is transforming your industry. What's your take on it?" "I noticed your office is in Chicago. I love that city! What's your favorite thing to do there?"
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The key is to ask open-ended questions that invite them to share. Look for opportunities to relate to what they say and share your own experiences. |
When you find a topic that you're both passionate about, dive deeper. Ask follow-up questions and share your thoughts. |
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😮 Be interesting, not just interested |
When we meet someone new, most of us default to the same old boring small talk. |
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Yawn. It's no wonder we struggle to build rapport. We're putting people to sleep! |
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To really build rapport, be interesting. How? Bring up interesting things about you, ask better questions and give your unique takes. |
The goal is to be different and engaging. When you are, people will naturally be drawn to you. |
Before I wrap up, I need something from you. |
These emails take me freakin' forever to write up. And cost a lot in email sending costs. But yet I don't litter them with ads nor paywall the best parts. |
That said, there is a (non-monetary) fee for them: |
If an email changes the way you think, opens your mind to a new perspective, or gives you an insight you get value from, please do one of these things: |
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Stuff like this helps and makes all the efforts feel worth it — thank you. |
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🔎 Speed Up Your Job Search One actionable piece of advice to help you hack your job search. |
How many jobs should you apply for in 2024? |
Read the full article here. |
A statistic that's often passed around is 1 callback for every 50 applications. But we've found that this isn't accurate — you can 5x the number of callbacks by making a few tweaks to each application. |
🗣️ Avoid resume bombing. Quality over quantity. Avoid sending out applications to jobs you might not be qualified for at all. Make sure you apply to jobs in your niche — e.g. those related to your major, industry, skillset, or level of seniority. |
🎯 To make sure your resume is effective, upload your resume to this tool. It'll analyze each line on your resume and tell you how to improve each one, so you'll get past the resume screeners and hiring managers. |
🧐 Targeting your resume does not mean you have to rewrite your resume for every single job. Just tweak the skills section of your resume at the minimum — this resume targeting tool will help. And use this cover letter generator to create a unique cover letter per job application. |
📈 Use niche job sites: Avoid the Indeeds or Monsters of the world. Niche sites have less competition. |
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What'd you think of today's edition? |
👍 I loved it. |
🤔 Pretty average, step it up. |
🤢 You didn't bring enough value. |
Here are some reviews of last week's email. Leave one here. |
 | such a nice review, thanks Stephanie! |
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 | thanks for saving it for the weekend |
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 | glad it helps with the motivation angle too, Anita :) |
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If you're new here, hi! |
Hey, I'm Rohan. Some people are into yoga, others are into fishing - me, I'm all about self-improvement. Years ago, I got fed up with the fluff that passes for career advice out there. So, I started Resume Worded and this email series, Coached, to share the industry insider info I was learning. |
Think of this email as your weekly dose of career coaching you didn't know you needed. No fluff, no platitudes, no-BS — just real stuff that you need to hear to shape your career into what you want it to be. |
Until next time, |
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Rohan
Founder at Coached & Resume Worded |
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P. S. To make sure your career never goes off the rails, don't miss my future emails. A simple way to make sure you get each email is: |
If you're using Gmail, hit the 3 dots at the top-right corner, and choose Move to -> Primary. Or drag this email to Primary if you're on your computer. If you're using Apple Mail, tap on our email address at the top of this email (next to "From:" on mobile) and click "Add to VIPs.".
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